Matrix Revolutions Invisible Lesbian

Whilst perusing a few articles we came across a snippet over at Gamasutra where they're interviewing gaming great David Perry (founder of Shiny Entertainment) about what he's been up to on his year off. Now although the article is fairly interesting, the bit that got us all agitated was when David was talking about the release of the Matrix title Enter the Matrix.

According to Perry they had problems with the title because of its lesbian kiss. It seems the ESRB weren't overly thrilled with the idea of the kiss appearing. Perry says he got around this by saying the Matrix scene was actually "two computers kissing" - "and the ESRB bought it".

We immediately saw a similarity between this and the recent elimination of the "lesbian" content in Mass Effect by stating the women involved aren't women, they're 'mono-sexual aliens'. So rendering lesbians invisible by stating they aren't women is no biggy if it will get your game published. This is the age old problem of lesbians either being rendered invisible, predatory, single (and thus having no-one to be 'lesbian' with) or pandering to the male gaze. Of course if you happen to be a computer generated mono-sexual alien, you're OK.

Is SSX's Zoe Payne a Lesbian?

Yes we're back with our "Is 'insert cool grrl character here' a lesbian?" piece. You may recall a couple of weeks ago we looked at Jade from Beyond Good and Evil, well today we're going to look at Zoe Payne from the SSX snowboarding series of games. We think our gaydars tweaked more than a little when Zoe hit our screens, let's see why.

Zoe Payne has an interesting bio, her nemesis is Elise Riggs, a tall blonde 'amazon' from Canada (but Elise's favorite thing in the world is men, so strike her off the lesbo list.. even though she's Canadian, into sports.. and female--go figure!). Zoe would like to "open her own bike/coffee shop" if she weren't a pro boarder (strike up the points!), she's also a fan of climbing the worlds largest summits, no doubt because she likes going down afterwards. When asked if she wears boxers or briefs, she coyly replies with "What do you think." So.. what do we think.. is she or are we barking up the wrong snow covered dyke?

Tomb Raider Legend II & Lara is Bi

Don't get your panties in a twist, read on... Remember our earlier foray into the future Lara Croft? Well this is just a little something to get your teeth into whilst we await Tomb Raider Legend II... Lara Croft is bi. What? when? How? Ok.. so not Lara Croft 'exactly', but the silken tongued Keeley Hawes who voiced her in Tomb Raider: Legend and Tomb Raider Anniversary.

Keeley is no stranger to the lesbian world, given she played 1890's hottie Kitty Butler in Tipping the Velvet. At the time she was interviewed by UK based Diva magazine, in which she stated rather matter of factly to being bi. Keeley is presently working on Tomb Raider Legend II which is set after the incident in the previous Tomb Raider Legend title. In Tomb Raider Legend II Lara Croft heads for Avalon, in search of her mother. And we're pretty sure we're one of the first gaming sites to even realise Tomb Raider Legend II is in the works, given we stumbled over it quite by accident, so huzzah us!

Lesbian Gamers Xmas List 2007

Alright ladies, it's almost that time of year, when a fat bearded man in a red and white suit will enter your home completely unnanounced at lord knows what hour, eat your food, raid your liquor cabinet, mess with your home decor and place boxes of lord knows what all over your floor! All whilst his pets pee and crap on your roof!

Yes, it's Christmas season, holiday season, whatever you like to call it. It's the season that people who don't even believe in Christ celebrate his name, decorate trees in their living spaces and gamers hope and pray someone on high was listening to them when they slipped "I don't need any more clothes this year just games" into the conversation. We're going to take a look at what lesbian gamers should have on their Christmas lists this year, so come with us, take a peek, add your own gift ideas as we bring you The Lesbian Gamer Xmas List 2007.

Coolest Girl in School - Ugh

Aussie developers 'Champagne for the Ladies', a company whose tagline is "mobile entertainment for discerning dames" has a new game out called 'Coolest Girl in School'. Sounds good, it's about cool girls afterall. So, what makes the girls cool? Well, lying, bitching and flirting of course. Don't all groan together.

There's even a little sexuality play thrown in apparently, with the official site stating "Experiment with your sexuality", we can only assume this to mean some girl on girl action. Now, the odd thing is Creative Director of Champagne for the Ladies is (surprisingly - Ed.) a lady - Holly Owen. Perhaps it's all tongue in cheek, but lost on us, perhaps Holly just has a bizarre sense of humor, or she just doesn't realise the damage titles like this do to women gamers. Whatever the case this is a mobile title and won't be adorning your Xbox with its girly bitchery any time soon.

Gears of War 2 - Female Character Morons

Whilst perusing the interweb for news today we came across something that did somewhat disturb us and it was this - the lack of intelligence in 'some' gamers. In a thread on GameTrailers a simple question is posed: 'Should Gears of War 2 have a female character?'. Here's the response that nailed it for us: "Hell no! If there was a chick presented in Gears of War 2 as a main character she would be some buff-manly-dike-butch character".

Oh but there are other responses sure to endear these morons to us even further: "no way!!!!!!! this is gears of war 2, not gears of painting our nails 2", "Naahhhh there is no place for a women in Gears", "I dont wanna play as a butch woman.", "yeah, and she should be a butch lesbo carring a big gun theres definately a lack of butch lesbo characters in the video game industry.. i say she has a mullet hairy upper lip, a rosie odonell feel to her would be nice too", "If I play a female character, will have to play a little tampon reloading mini game like we had to when reloading the guns in the original Gears?"

Yes, there you have it, people actually took the time to respond with these answers, doesn't that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Granted there are a few intelligent responses in the thread, but for the most part, that's what you get. Feel free to let loose by making the most of our comments section.

Guitar Hero: Lesbian Anthems - Dream Release

Ok so needless to say this isn't a 'real' release, its a dream release. Guitar Hero is one of those classic games that seems to be on a slippery slope to hell. With each release the songs become more mundane, less recognizable and less worth your gaming pennies. So, we thought we'd have a little fun with the series and collate our own Guitar Hero: Lesbian Edition for this site.

Feel free to add and discuss just what titles you would want to be included (in the comments section), should the day ever come when Guitar Hero: Lesbian Edition was on the cards. If we can come up with a longer list that would be fantastic and look at it this way, perhaps you'll discover some guitar chicks you hadn't heard of previously.

Strum the Full Article Right Here!

Pink Girl Gaming Accessories!!

Pink, yes it means so many things--not out pop stars who dislike 'Bush' (make of that what you will), color perfect for gender stereotyping, a pale red, slightly flushed cheeks.. and girl gaming accessories. Yes of course we're going to have a little bent out rant about that last one. Firstly let's say, we know not ALL women (yes including lesbians) find pink accessories to be irritating, we're not speaking for everyone, that would be silly. We are speaking for some however.

So why the rage? Well, WolfKing (aka maker of gaming input devices) today announced it is customizing its award-winning WARRIOR gaming pad and TROOPER gaming mouse to appeal to female PC gamers. The specially designed gaming devices will be sold exclusively through Dell. "Specially designed", oh goody!.. how are they specially designed for girl gamers... aren't our hands the same as guys, four fingers, one thumb - CHECK! .. strange I wonder what they 'designed' for us lucky 'special' ladies of gaming!! YAY!! They added "a Flamingo Pink accent gradient on top of a full stealth black matte finish" and now "it offers all the functionality of the WARRIOR, but with a feminine touch."

“Female gamers have an incredibly high set of standards when it comes to quality as well as design,” said Bob Costlow, director of sales, WOLFKING. “You can’t just paint something pink and say it’s for girls. (errr, isn't that what you've just done Bob?-Ed) The Girl Gamer products give women access to fully functioning, hardcore gaming devices, but with an aesthetic touch.”.. ohh.. 'aesthetic touch' we'd have probably called it an 'asshole touch'.. but each to their own.

Female Characters in Mass Effect

Just wanted to highlight our special article about female characters in Mass Effect on the Xbox 360. If you're looking for an awesome title with more short haired women than you'd see at Lilith Fair, Mass Effect is going to be the game for you. We'll be updating this article regularly until we've got all the main female characters included.

The scary thing is, these aren't all the female characters we've seen so far in the game, these are just the ones that you will deal with on a deeper level. There are plenty of others that wander the worlds. Any questions about Mass Effect, just stick them in the comments section and we'll hopefully be able to answer them for you. We hope you like our exclusive article 'Female Characters in Mass Effect'.

Cooking Mama 2: Dinner With Dykes

Looks like your last lesbian dinner party doesn't it, there's Maureen with her specs on the left, right next to some young bi-curious girl she met at the gym. Next to them is Cassy, she's not happy about the bi girl. Then there's the mad host Sherry, wearing a ridiculous pink hat, Nina with her cap on backwards, because she likes to pretend she's Max from Go Fish. Lucy, not a lesbian, she just likes hanging out at lesbian dinner parties for the drama, and lastly far right, Katie, with her new specs---everyone told her to get the thick rimmed rectangular style befitting 'geek dykes', but no! Fashion disaster, she went for the round ones and now looks like the milkybar kid.

Phew! Who knew 'Cooking Mama 2: Dinner With Friends' would have so many dykes in it! The sequel on the DS will feature 80 original international recipes, some old favourites and the chance to create all-new customised dishes, 150 fast and fun mini games to challenge player cooking expertise. You can also offer dishes cooked to one of the many characters who will judge it for flavour and presentation--you know that bi girl isn't going to like anything with tofu in it, afterall she probably prefers real meat. Cooking Mama 2: Dinner With Dykes will be available early 2008 on Nintendo DS.

Guita Hero III - The Death of Dyke Rock

Two words that should strike fear in the hearts of women rockers who kick ass: 'augmentation mammoplasty', though apparently not in the minds of the dead heads that reproduced Judy Nails as some double D-cup dimwit in Guitar Hero III. Don't even get us started on what they've done with Pandora! What the hell happened post Guitar Hero II? These two ladies clearly took to snorting powdered substances and opted for a complete change in physical appearance and personality.

A little twittering bird tells us one of the people on the development team behind these characters was a gay lady.. till the Neversoft lot took over and decided the cool rock chicks needed an injection of the feminine (even stated in-game!). We mourn for Judy and Pandora, two cool girls with attitude that seem to have moved to a dimly lit street corner in Stepford, Connecticut, awaiting their next customer.

Lara Re\Visioned With Red Latex Henchwoman

If you're a fan of Lady Croft (and what self respecting lesbian isn't), this is for you. The final episode of GameTap's RE\Visioned Tomb Raider animated series is now live at their website. The episode 'A Complicated Woman' emphasizes Lara's... well ok, it emphasizes her breasts, but also her guile and sustainability, which is what we enjoyed about it, obviously!

Adding to the female quantity of this episode is a female katana wielding henchwoman in a skintight red latex bodysuit, which we hear is top of the winter fashion collection in HenchWoman Fashionista this month. The RE\Visioned Tomb Raider season featured 10 episodes in all. Season two has just been announced and will feature various Activision games heroes, including Pitfall Harry - a sort of male pixelated pre-cursor to the Croft.

Xbox Update & Carla Valenti

We're combining this news rather than drawing out two reports that are related. Firstly Carla Valenti, as female games characters go there are a few that stand out from the crowd and she is one of them. Carla appeared in the 2005 title Fahrenheit (aka Indigo Prophecy). How is this related to an Xbox Update? Well the looming December 4 update will include the ability to download original Xbox games. One of the games that will appear with the update is Fahrenheit (aka Indigo Prophecy).

If this somehow managed to pass you by, it's well worth a look. No Carla isn't a lesbian, but she is one cool kick ass female games character. Anyway her boxing scenes and white vest top and underwear scenes are bound to appeal to the tomboy in all of us. The original Xbox games will set you back around 1200 Points a piece. A little annoying given you may well be able to pick up a tangible copy for less in the sales bins. Fahrenheit is defnitely worth a look.

Get 'The Shaft' and Control Your Wii

Wrapping our lady loving hands / fingers around a shaft is the last thing us lesbian ladies would think about doing, but this might have us changing our minds. The rather phallically titled Wii controller 'The Shaft' is brought to you by Overline Gaming and released mid December. It is by their own admission "The only arcade style joystick for the Nintendo Wii Virtual Console".

Ok so why do we even care? Well we got to thinking, this is of interest for two reasons. Firstly, it looks like a vibrator and it's called The Shaft, which in itself appealed to our immature sense of humor today. Secondly you never see companies releasing 'The Vag' or 'The Honey Box'.. with a fire button so sensitive only a woman will know how to truly control it. Hell why not get Eve Ensler in, release one called 'The C*nt' and soak up all the free press. Just a thought. There are images of the pink, black and white Shaft at the WiiShaft website.. sounds multi cultural or painful.

Mass Effect Banned in Singapore?

It seems those in Singapore aren't fans of lesbian sex scenes between high ranking commanders and alien species, actually they're not fans of gay people at all. According to some sources, Mass Effect has been banned in Singapore because of the inclusion of those saucy love scenes. Section 377A of the Singapore Penal Code criminalizes even private acts of homosexuality. This year the law was kept, which means homosexuality is 'illegal' in the region.

News then that the girl on girl action in Mass Effect has led to a ban shouldn't come as too much of a shock. Singapore has previously banned numerous games including most of the GTA series and BioShock. Though we believe the BioShock ban was later changed. Yes we are living in the year 2007, sad isn't it.

Mass Effect Lesbian Love Scene

We either slipped into a geek induced coma after seeing this, or we were so pissed our Lara 2022 item never made it onto Kotaku that we just didn't see it. Whatever the case, thanks to 'AHR' we've now got the lesbian love scene from Mass Effect right here for you all to dribble over.. from the lips... on your faces... now now.

Prudes & Children: Avert your innocent eyes... lest they bleed with LRHSEB (Lesbian Related Hot Sex Eye Burn)

A Change Is Coming

Hi guys,
we wanted to thank ALL of you for your support so far in the life of Lesbian Gamers. You've all been amazing.. commenting, joining the forums and discussions, using the shoutbox etc. Obviously membership and contributing membership is what makes a site great, we're over the moon that you've chosen to support Lesbian Gamers. Much thanks and dyke hugs.

Due to the overwhelming feedback and positive reaction to the site.. us tight assed lesbians behind the scenes have decided to spend some cash. We want to make this site kick ass, for all lesbian gamers out there.

Stay Tuned and make sure your bookmarks are pointing at www.lesbiangamers.com and not the parent blogger url.. a change is looming.

The Lesbionic Woman - Most Amusing

Okay ladies, we heard from a nice chap at G4TV this morning, pointing us in the direction of a spoof they've just done over at Attack of the Show titled 'The Lesbionic Woman' a video spoof of the new Bionic Woman TV series.

"They rebuilt her, made her stronger, faster… and somehow made her a lesbian"

There may be a few issues playing the video (it took us 8 tries and skipping to various sections), but it is really well made. Sure it's full of stereotypes (flannel shirt, boots amongst others), but it's not done in a negative way, so we're all for it. Check it out and see what you think.

Ubisoft Imagine Girls Are Second Rate

Can we curse? Holy fuck.. what the hell is this? Apparently ladies... Ubisoft undertook 'research' and came to the conclusion female gamers WANT this crap. Where did they get these researchers? Well one would assume the Charles Darwin Women are Crap and Should Be Kept in the Kitchen Association.

Honestly what the hell is going on in the games industry, when a company as cool as Ubisoft usually is starts peddling this garbage. I think we're all in stunned pissed off silence here at Lesbian Gamers. Poor unsuspecting mommies are probably going to purchase these for their daughters this holiday season, without realising the effect this has on them. By the Gods we implore any sensible parent DO NOT buy these attrocities.

Check out the Daily Telegraph article, which includes a snippet from our very own Tracy from supporting site ThumbBandits.com

Kristen Bell in Assassin's Creed

Veronica Mars.. Err.. We mean actress Kristen Bell has lent not only her voice acting talents to upcoming Ubisoft mindfuck Assassin's Creed, but also her likeness. Bell said "I was a big video gamer growing up, so working on Assassin’s Creed is my chance to be a part of video game history", nice.

This isn't the first time Veron... Kristen has hit the headlines with regards to Assassin's Creed, you may recall she made a bit of a gaff by blurting out one of the games scifi uber plot secrets way back in December 2006.

There's just something about Kristen that is cool, here's hoping her character in Assassin's Creed lives up to whatever it was a lot of lesbian ladies enjoyed about Veronica Mars. Either way if she wasn't yanking our chain about growing up a gamer, that in itself is very very cool.

Is Jade a Lesbian?

Any lesbian to have played the game 'Beyond Good & Evil', originally released by Ubisoft back in 2003, has perhaps pondered this very question. Is Jade a lady who likes other ladies? This is something we've long pondered, so let's look at what we know about our dark haired heroine and see what we can glean from it.

Jade is single, sassy and likes photography.. hmm.. so are a lot of women. She has a funky short hairdo, doesn't wear much make-up and when she does she opts for the non vaginal lip color of green over pinks and reds. She's 20 years old and owns her own company--Jade Reporting. She has (according to Ubisofts own words) "a marked taste for adventure and justice". She also wants to bring about change and fights against prejudice and propoganda.

How we doing so far? She also likes motor vehicles and adopts the nickname 'Shauni' as her alias. We're not saying that every girl who likes bikes and has short hair is a dyke, even though we'd like to think it.. but come on Jade exudes the lesbian vibe. Whenever I see her on screen, my gaydar goes crazy, much as it does with someone like, oh I don't know.. Jessica Biel for example.. ahem..

Whether Jade is ever outed or not doesn't matter to us here at Lesbian Gamers. In our hearts she will always be the cute baby dyke photographer and that's what imagination is all about.

Lesbian Relationship in Battlestar Galactica

What's this? This isn't gaming news! Well sometimes you have to go with the flow, sometimes you have to go with an exclusive and we've got one for you. A little bird tells us that the 'rumored' lesbian content in the upcoming Battlestar Galactica Razor is true. Yes ladies apparently their are dykes in space and particularly on the Pegasus.

We don't want to spoiler this news by giving you details (yes we know who they are). Suffice to say one of them is who you might expect (and no needless to say it isn't Kara Thrace, even though she's a screamer) and the other explains a whole lot of backstory. Battlestar Razor screens in the US November 24 on SciFi and from Nov 12 at various cinemas across the country--as part of a marketing tie-in with Microsoft title Mass Effect for the Xbox 360. Ahh there, we managed to link it to gaming afterall. Battlestar Razor is out on R1 DVD Dec 4.

Portal is for Lesbians - It's a Dyke Fest

Portal is gay, as gay as something really gay, like Christina Cox shaking her booty at Lilith Fair with Carrie-Ann Moss (honest, we don't lie, check your Lilith DVD). So how did this come about? Well Bonnie Ruberg (all hail!) over at Heroine Sheik puts forth the proposal that Portal is for lesbians. How so we hear you cry? According to the article because it's an all female game (we know, we'll get to 'cube' in a moment) and because of the relationship between Chell (female protagonist and playable character) and GLaDOS (silken tongued voiceover mage).

We'd like to take this article a step further and suggest that this deconstruction may be right, but to also suggest that deconstructing Portal may also fall into the 'predatory lesbian' category. We've got the young, innocent Chell, trying to find her freedom and the lying and deceitful GLaDOS leading her astray, why it almost sings The Killing of Sister George and The Children's Hour, doesn't it? As for cube, given he is referred to as 'he', Bonnie suggests he's feminized because of his hearts and appearance. We'd take it a step further and suggest he's not only feminized, but also a euphemism for the vagina.. 'box'. And we could even suggest the more obvious 'love box', given the hearts.. it just goes on and on.

So let's see, we have innocent young girl, predatory position of power woman, a 'box' that opens new doors when it's used in the right way.. and that's without even touching on the phallic portal gun that opens holes for our young innocent to enter, only to be either lost, confused or indeed free.

Amazing what you can make out of something seemingly so innocent isn't it ladies. Now go open some holes, use your boxes to get what you want and don't listen to women who seem to know it all. Rules for life some might say-- not us here at LesbianGamers obviously. ;)

Addendum: Oh and it all takes place in Aperture Laboratories, with a sort of iris valve that looks like the letter 'C' at the start, making it Caperture Laboratories.. or 'Capture Laboratories'.. We're sure we could run with this predatory lesbian thing for weeks - thanks Bonnie lol.

Nathan Drakes Femme Sidekick

Ahhh Helen Hunt in Twister, there's just something about a cute lady in a vest top.. ahem where were we.. oh yes.. lady in vest top, which brings us neatly to Uncharted: Drake's Fortune on the PS3. We've been persuing a few trailers for this macho fest and noticed a certain little lady (pictured). The girl in question appears to help Nathan Drake on his quest.

Now whether or not this blonde is one of those pathetic 'girly' wimp characters placed within the games framework to act as a tool for making the main character all that more macho, we won't until we've played it. Whatever the case, why even bother with Nathan Drake, when you already have the lovely Lady Lara to play with.. do we really need 'Dude Raider' when we'd rather push Lara's buttons?

Short Haired Lady Pirate - Cool

You know with a name like 'Pirates vs. Ninjas Dodgeball' the developers are either flogging a pile of stinking you know what by linking two of the most popular genres together, or they've made a stand out peice of arcade fun featuring cool characters. Whatever the case, we won't know for sure until early 2008 when it launches on Xbox Live Arcade.

We did think it was cute the artwork included a lady pirate however, so here's hoping the game itself allows for playing with ladies, because y'all know how much we do enjoy that.

Pirates vs. Ninjas Dodgeball will have sea-faring thieves squaring off against stealthy martial artists in beautiful environments. The game will allow for up to eight players and offer five teams, including pirates and ninjas and three more that will announced soon. Each team has their own unique style and techniques and is hell-bent on destroying the opposition.

Lesbians in Mass Effect - Xbox 360

On the offchance you all missed this little tidbit of information when it hit the net a few weeks ago (and got all the young boys giggling), BioWare title Mass Effect will feature lesbians... sort of. According to the British games ratings board players using the female character (Jane Shepherd) can enter into a sex scene "between her and male human or a female humanoid alien." The humanoid alien in question though is of neutral gender, so it's a little picky really.

For our gay gaming brothers, male characters can only initiate sex "between him and a human woman or a humanoid female alien" because God forbid there be any boy on boy action, the girl on girl action is okay though because it appeals to the male gamers --all yawn in unison--