A Change Is Coming

Hi guys,
we wanted to thank ALL of you for your support so far in the life of Lesbian Gamers. You've all been amazing.. commenting, joining the forums and discussions, using the shoutbox etc. Obviously membership and contributing membership is what makes a site great, we're over the moon that you've chosen to support Lesbian Gamers. Much thanks and dyke hugs.

Due to the overwhelming feedback and positive reaction to the site.. us tight assed lesbians behind the scenes have decided to spend some cash. We want to make this site kick ass, for all lesbian gamers out there.

Stay Tuned and make sure your bookmarks are pointing at www.lesbiangamers.com and not the parent blogger url.. a change is looming.

The Lesbionic Woman - Most Amusing

Okay ladies, we heard from a nice chap at G4TV this morning, pointing us in the direction of a spoof they've just done over at Attack of the Show titled 'The Lesbionic Woman' a video spoof of the new Bionic Woman TV series.

"They rebuilt her, made her stronger, faster… and somehow made her a lesbian"

There may be a few issues playing the video (it took us 8 tries and skipping to various sections), but it is really well made. Sure it's full of stereotypes (flannel shirt, boots amongst others), but it's not done in a negative way, so we're all for it. Check it out and see what you think.

Ubisoft Imagine Girls Are Second Rate

Can we curse? Holy fuck.. what the hell is this? Apparently ladies... Ubisoft undertook 'research' and came to the conclusion female gamers WANT this crap. Where did they get these researchers? Well one would assume the Charles Darwin Women are Crap and Should Be Kept in the Kitchen Association.

Honestly what the hell is going on in the games industry, when a company as cool as Ubisoft usually is starts peddling this garbage. I think we're all in stunned pissed off silence here at Lesbian Gamers. Poor unsuspecting mommies are probably going to purchase these for their daughters this holiday season, without realising the effect this has on them. By the Gods we implore any sensible parent DO NOT buy these attrocities.

Check out the Daily Telegraph article, which includes a snippet from our very own Tracy from supporting site ThumbBandits.com

Kristen Bell in Assassin's Creed

Veronica Mars.. Err.. We mean actress Kristen Bell has lent not only her voice acting talents to upcoming Ubisoft mindfuck Assassin's Creed, but also her likeness. Bell said "I was a big video gamer growing up, so working on Assassin’s Creed is my chance to be a part of video game history", nice.

This isn't the first time Veron... Kristen has hit the headlines with regards to Assassin's Creed, you may recall she made a bit of a gaff by blurting out one of the games scifi uber plot secrets way back in December 2006.

There's just something about Kristen that is cool, here's hoping her character in Assassin's Creed lives up to whatever it was a lot of lesbian ladies enjoyed about Veronica Mars. Either way if she wasn't yanking our chain about growing up a gamer, that in itself is very very cool.

Is Jade a Lesbian?

Any lesbian to have played the game 'Beyond Good & Evil', originally released by Ubisoft back in 2003, has perhaps pondered this very question. Is Jade a lady who likes other ladies? This is something we've long pondered, so let's look at what we know about our dark haired heroine and see what we can glean from it.

Jade is single, sassy and likes photography.. hmm.. so are a lot of women. She has a funky short hairdo, doesn't wear much make-up and when she does she opts for the non vaginal lip color of green over pinks and reds. She's 20 years old and owns her own company--Jade Reporting. She has (according to Ubisofts own words) "a marked taste for adventure and justice". She also wants to bring about change and fights against prejudice and propoganda.

How we doing so far? She also likes motor vehicles and adopts the nickname 'Shauni' as her alias. We're not saying that every girl who likes bikes and has short hair is a dyke, even though we'd like to think it.. but come on Jade exudes the lesbian vibe. Whenever I see her on screen, my gaydar goes crazy, much as it does with someone like, oh I don't know.. Jessica Biel for example.. ahem..

Whether Jade is ever outed or not doesn't matter to us here at Lesbian Gamers. In our hearts she will always be the cute baby dyke photographer and that's what imagination is all about.

Lesbian Relationship in Battlestar Galactica

What's this? This isn't gaming news! Well sometimes you have to go with the flow, sometimes you have to go with an exclusive and we've got one for you. A little bird tells us that the 'rumored' lesbian content in the upcoming Battlestar Galactica Razor is true. Yes ladies apparently their are dykes in space and particularly on the Pegasus.

We don't want to spoiler this news by giving you details (yes we know who they are). Suffice to say one of them is who you might expect (and no needless to say it isn't Kara Thrace, even though she's a screamer) and the other explains a whole lot of backstory. Battlestar Razor screens in the US November 24 on SciFi and from Nov 12 at various cinemas across the country--as part of a marketing tie-in with Microsoft title Mass Effect for the Xbox 360. Ahh there, we managed to link it to gaming afterall. Battlestar Razor is out on R1 DVD Dec 4.

Portal is for Lesbians - It's a Dyke Fest

Portal is gay, as gay as something really gay, like Christina Cox shaking her booty at Lilith Fair with Carrie-Ann Moss (honest, we don't lie, check your Lilith DVD). So how did this come about? Well Bonnie Ruberg (all hail!) over at Heroine Sheik puts forth the proposal that Portal is for lesbians. How so we hear you cry? According to the article because it's an all female game (we know, we'll get to 'cube' in a moment) and because of the relationship between Chell (female protagonist and playable character) and GLaDOS (silken tongued voiceover mage).

We'd like to take this article a step further and suggest that this deconstruction may be right, but to also suggest that deconstructing Portal may also fall into the 'predatory lesbian' category. We've got the young, innocent Chell, trying to find her freedom and the lying and deceitful GLaDOS leading her astray, why it almost sings The Killing of Sister George and The Children's Hour, doesn't it? As for cube, given he is referred to as 'he', Bonnie suggests he's feminized because of his hearts and appearance. We'd take it a step further and suggest he's not only feminized, but also a euphemism for the vagina.. 'box'. And we could even suggest the more obvious 'love box', given the hearts.. it just goes on and on.

So let's see, we have innocent young girl, predatory position of power woman, a 'box' that opens new doors when it's used in the right way.. and that's without even touching on the phallic portal gun that opens holes for our young innocent to enter, only to be either lost, confused or indeed free.

Amazing what you can make out of something seemingly so innocent isn't it ladies. Now go open some holes, use your boxes to get what you want and don't listen to women who seem to know it all. Rules for life some might say-- not us here at LesbianGamers obviously. ;)

Addendum: Oh and it all takes place in Aperture Laboratories, with a sort of iris valve that looks like the letter 'C' at the start, making it Caperture Laboratories.. or 'Capture Laboratories'.. We're sure we could run with this predatory lesbian thing for weeks - thanks Bonnie lol.

Nathan Drakes Femme Sidekick

Ahhh Helen Hunt in Twister, there's just something about a cute lady in a vest top.. ahem where were we.. oh yes.. lady in vest top, which brings us neatly to Uncharted: Drake's Fortune on the PS3. We've been persuing a few trailers for this macho fest and noticed a certain little lady (pictured). The girl in question appears to help Nathan Drake on his quest.

Now whether or not this blonde is one of those pathetic 'girly' wimp characters placed within the games framework to act as a tool for making the main character all that more macho, we won't until we've played it. Whatever the case, why even bother with Nathan Drake, when you already have the lovely Lady Lara to play with.. do we really need 'Dude Raider' when we'd rather push Lara's buttons?

Short Haired Lady Pirate - Cool

You know with a name like 'Pirates vs. Ninjas Dodgeball' the developers are either flogging a pile of stinking you know what by linking two of the most popular genres together, or they've made a stand out peice of arcade fun featuring cool characters. Whatever the case, we won't know for sure until early 2008 when it launches on Xbox Live Arcade.

We did think it was cute the artwork included a lady pirate however, so here's hoping the game itself allows for playing with ladies, because y'all know how much we do enjoy that.

Pirates vs. Ninjas Dodgeball will have sea-faring thieves squaring off against stealthy martial artists in beautiful environments. The game will allow for up to eight players and offer five teams, including pirates and ninjas and three more that will announced soon. Each team has their own unique style and techniques and is hell-bent on destroying the opposition.

Lesbians in Mass Effect - Xbox 360

On the offchance you all missed this little tidbit of information when it hit the net a few weeks ago (and got all the young boys giggling), BioWare title Mass Effect will feature lesbians... sort of. According to the British games ratings board players using the female character (Jane Shepherd) can enter into a sex scene "between her and male human or a female humanoid alien." The humanoid alien in question though is of neutral gender, so it's a little picky really.

For our gay gaming brothers, male characters can only initiate sex "between him and a human woman or a humanoid female alien" because God forbid there be any boy on boy action, the girl on girl action is okay though because it appeals to the male gamers --all yawn in unison--